Midwest Regional Sweet & Natural Fest Recap

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This past weekend I headed out to the Midwest Regional Sweet & Natural Fest that was held in Washington Park. The even. that was founded by Daphney Thomas, promotes vitality and culture allows vendors to showcase health and beauty products, jewelry, attire, and artwork. I loved the focus on products hair and beauty products that work for me as a woman of color. It was a great opportunity to connect with other women who deal with some of the same beauty dilemmas that I deal with. Ain’t nothing wrong with polishing your #blackgirlmagic.  Continue reading

Mama Always Said, “Life is Too Short for Bad Clothes!”

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My mother taught me everything that I know about style. When other kids were watching cartoons on Saturday mornings I was by my mother’s side watching Fashion TV.  We would ooh and ahh over the latest designer collections. My mom is a seamstress and a fashion genius. I’ve seen her make miracles with everything from my old jeans to fabric remnants. My sister and I would spend hours with her in the fabric store as kids begging her to leave only to end up picking out our own patterns and begging her to make us our next outfit.

I remember being joyfully excited about a skirt I like in Casual Contempo as a preteen and begging my mom to look at it, she pulled at the fabric and examined the hem. She rolled her eyes and exclaimed, “I can make that!” Those four words would make you put your garment back on the rack and walk out of the store. I sat down recently with my mom so we could talk about her style and her thoughts on style for the everyday woman.

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 Q. Did style influence you to sew or did sewing influence your style?

A. Sewing was my way to get the look for less. Back then sewing was affordable so you could make things that you wouldn’t have otherwise been able to afford. I’ve always loved clothes, sewing was just a way of putting more options within my reach.

Q. How do you think your sewing and your style affected my sister and me?

A. Your styles were so different. You are so eclectic and all over the place and your sister is sporty. When you were little it was my way of expressing my love for fashion.  Because I could sew I could give you both more. I was lucky that I could dress you any way that I wanted and you and your sister were receptive. You were always opinionated about what you wore I remember when you were three years old and proclaimed that you wanted to wear dresses every day!

Q. What do you think of our style now that we are adults?

A. (Lots of laughter) You both do well and understand your body types. I sometimes think you both dress mature for your age and I feel a little bad about that. You do really well with balancing classic looks and styling a look for the club. You’ve always had fun with fashion.

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Q. Who’s your favorite fashion designer?

A. That’s hard because I love high fashion but I also like urban wear too. I love Michael Kors not what they sell in the stores but his ready to wear line. I love classic designers like Celine. I also like avant-garde fashion too like Alexander McQueen I like things that could only be worn on the runway or at the Met Gala. You know who progressively looks better and better in high fashion? Rhianna. You can see her growth and she keeps getting it right. I like Rhianna’s style much better than Kim Kardashian.

Q. What is your style advice for women who’s body have recently changed to due weight loss or weight gain?

A. Buy your size and if you don’t know what size you are, find out by trying on what you like in multiple sizes. I believe in dressing the body you have. You are wasting time if you are waiting on your body to change before you start dressing better. Buying items that fit will always look good.

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Q. What key pieces would you recommended for women on a budget?

It depends on your lifestyle. I think everyone should have a good white button-down shirt. You need a good skirt. You need good pants. Shop off season for the key items that you need like a coat, suit jackets, and expensive suiting items. You can buy quality at any price point.

 

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My mom is a major style influence in my life. She has taught me so much about fit and garment quality. I know I wouldn’t have any interest in style had she not been key in ensuring that my sister and I understood how to dress our bodies in their current state. My mom is the original body acceptance advocate in my life. I’m so glad her Wize Style rubbed off on me!

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

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Living Legends

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This past week I had the humbling honor to be a part of the second Queen B Ladies L.i.T (Legend in Technique) Ball. It was organized by my beautiful friend Januarie York, who is also a blogger you can find her at The I is Never Silent. She honored 30 women for excellence in art, humanitarianism, and sisterhood. SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

 

 

The ball honored black women who work extremely hard in their technique who may not have otherwise been recognized. All of this recognition was in the name of a wonderful woman Blanche “Queen B” Boone- Jackson an Indianapolis poet, friend, and all-around wonderful woman who died in 2014 from complications of a stroke. All of the proceeds from the Legend in Technique Ball went to Stroke Awareness.

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I had planned to document so much more but I was just overwhelmed by the presence of tangible Black girl magic to say that I was overwhelmed was an understatement. The evening began when the DJ played Beyonce, Flawless, and it changed the entire energy of the room you could smell the confidence being passed through every woman. I thought does Beyonce know what this song does for Black women?  To be in the presence of so many beautiful women that evening left such a warm and exhilarating feeling. I encountered women some of whom I knew before the ball and some that I meet for the first time who are legends in their own right. I share a connection with these legends and it created an unforgettable bond.

17390427_10154421648451938_5654858408831616737_oPhoto Credit: Rana Carter

As I stood there holding my award with my peers I was overcome with emotion. I will now live with this experience forever. I will hold myself accountable for achieving my goals even more than before.  I know that the possibilities are endless and that women can empower each other without malice or jealousy. We embraced our scars as a part of our beauty and we expanded our wingspan to soar to our highest potential. This moment was about more than slaying.

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Jumpsuit: Eloquii, Shoes: Nine West, Clutch: Charming Charlie, Earrings: Charming Charlie

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook Oh Wize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

Be a Girl Boss with No Apologies

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Lately, I have been a workaholic and I have felt the need to constantly apologize. The fact that I have prioritized growing my business over recreational fun has made me feel like I need to explain myself every time I decline a request. The reality is I can’t be everything and I can’t be everywhere. No, is a complete sentence! (Easier said than done, I know)

I know so many women who are starting new business endeavors and every Girl Boss needs a pep talk to keep going. Hard work is often isolating because when you want to do something well it consumes your thoughts and spare time. I think as women we question the efforts of working towards our goals more than we would question our pursuit of true love or the need for a family. We’re always caught up in the reward of working because we need to show that our work validates us.Work is as work does and in order to do it well, we have to be unapologetic in our quest to be leaders in our chosen fields.

I Ain’t Sorry

I can’t feel sorry for working hard. It’s in my DNA. For so long I didn’t want to be “The Boss”. To much whom is given much is required and I got to witness it first hand with my dad being a small business owner himself. I saw him work tirelessly it was like he could never give his full attention to anything outside of work. I always thought “Man this sucks.  Who would want to do this?” On the flip side, being expected to work relentlessly for the greater good of someone else also sucks. Life requires hard work.  At some point, you will have to choose who you will work for.I choose to work to build my legacy and strengthen others who want to be a boss.

Get In Line Girl Boss

The quest for equality is real and you are not the first woman to discover that you are in a unique position being a woman in business. You are going to feel the urge to get emotional because well anything you pour your heart into draws a connection to your spirit. I have noticed that women fear being direct but will give into to emotional outburst. I have found that in business people tend to respond less to emotional breakdowns. Go ahead and speak your mind, share that idea, or shoot down that proposal because that will be received much better than emotion. Be prepared to rework your plan so that you can achieve your overall goal. It’s ok to be attached to your goals but the path may change. The journey is just beginning.  Get in line girl boss, we all want to be great and there is room for you at the top.

Don’t Be Afraid to Break

Work from rest. I have heard this saying time and time again but I have a hard to applying into my actual work ethic. Recently I realized that I had overworked myself. I couldn’t get a grip on my own thoughts and nothing was being accomplished. I eventually had to take a break from social media and all of my projects. Spinning out is inevitable when you work yourself too hard. You can’t produce good work when you’re in a fog. Focus on quality of work and not quantity. Maybe you should push that project back. Taking a break can rejuvenate your thought process.  You will return to work with focus and joy. Even the boss needs a break. Don’t be afraid to delegate because the best bosses are leaders as well. Pass that task off to someone who is capable of fulfilling your expectations of a job well done.

Keep Your Eyes On Your Own Paper

The reality is that not everyone is going to understand your hustle and you can’t expect them to. Your business is your vision but that doesn’t undercut you because others don’t see the value in what you do. You will find that people find your creative talents useful for their own personal needs but will not want to attach a monetary value to what you do. Don’t be offended just don’t be afraid to exercise that complete sentence “No”. Withdraw from over sharing your excitement on certain topics on business because they just don’t get it and they never will unless someone misuses their talent.  It’s just not relevant to them. Misunderstandings will lead you down a path of resentfulness because you just won’t understand why people don’t respect your hard work.  But keep your eyes on your own paper figuratively and literally.

I was inspired by Chya of No Apologies. I love her t-shirt line and what it represents. As women, we are constantly striving to meet the ever-pressing expectations of others. Instead of apologizing for failing to meet others definition of perfection, live life with NO APOLOGIES. Her mission is to uplift, support, and encourage the women around her. I needed this shirt because it perfectly represents how I am playing both roles of being the beauty and the boss!

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For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

Flirtatious and Warm

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Maybe it’s just too cold. Too cold to leave the house. Too cold to stand in line waiting for your Cheesecake Factory Reservation. I understand and depending on how cold it is I am inclined to agree with you. For a wintry occasion such as this, I am inspired by the ski lodges of Aspen. If you’re in a winter weather situation, playing the role of the sexy ski bunny will work for a night in or a night out.

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A Few Things to Consider:

  1. Never underestimated the universal flexibility of having a pair of leather leggings in your wardrobe. You can work them into your wardrobe as athleisure or for a night out on the town.
  2. Give your sweater some sex appeal.  Consider wearing a strappy bralette under the sweater for a more flirtatious feel.
  3. Rock your snow boots! Style them along with your look so you can be cute without sacrificing warmth.

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Where to shop:

Sweaters: Torrid Lane Bryant Ashley Stewart 

Bralettes: Forever 21 Boohoo

Leather Leggings: Forever 21 Charlotte Russe 

Snow Boots: DSW

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

Pretty In Pink

 

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Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. I am a facilitator of love and for the next few weeks, I will be the cupid of outfit inspiration. My first look is for the laid back ladies. I am all about the wardrobe uniform. A wardrobe uniform is all about embracing your personal style.  You know what works on your body, and now it’s all about tailoring your look to every occasion. If your signature look is jeans and a t-shirt, consider elevating the look with a great motto jacket in a fun color.

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Consider a few things

  1. The traditional uniform would be a white tee, blue jeans, and a black leather jacket.  Three different colors and textures can break up your shape and make you look shorter. Consider pairing gray or black jeans with a matching top.  Monochromatic will make you look longer and tends to give a more dressed up look.
  2. Feeling bright? Wearing monochromatic underpinnings will make your jacket the focal point of your outfit.
  3. Want to look even taller?  Pair your look with a nude pump.
  4. Distressed jeans are just sexy.  It’s something about a small amount of exposed skin. Find a great pair of distressed denim and consider them evening wear. Just make sure you follow this rule while shopping for new jeans. BHT: Booty, Hip, Thigh. I don’t care if the jeans are on sale, if they don’t properly fit the BHT it’s not worth it.
  5. The goal is to keep the line of your body as long as possible. SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESJacket: Forever 21, Turtleneck: Old Navy (sold out, similar), Jeans: Old Navy, Necklace Charming Charlie (old)

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My Favorite Picks for denim and jackets

Jeans:  Target,  Old Navy

Jackets: Forever 21 Torrid

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

Married Couples For Jesus | Seriously Single

 

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It’s funny how the things you rebel against in your adolescence bite you in the butt when you grow up. For better or for worse, I have always been a person who felt sure of herself. I was always sure I wanted to get married.  It just felt like what you do. There is a song by Wale where he says he’s in his mid-twenties and still never been to a wedding. I grew up in the church I’ve been a flower girl at least 4 times and I’ve lost count of the number of weddings I’ve attended. I was born to a married couple and their circle of friends was married. I have three Uncles, one is single by choice and he’s not exactly bachelor of the year. I have two aunts and one is single. Singles are in the minority in my family.  Getting married is expected.

I grew up in a girl gets married environment. What I didn’t want was to marry a preacher or marry a guy from church. Nope, I was too cool and free spirited for that. I felt like a guy from church would have high religious expectations of me and I needed to be free. Why sign up for a race I know I couldn’t win. All I knew was that I cuss when I get angry, I wanted to move to New York City and dance in nightclubs.  Basically, I wanted to be Parker Posey in Party Girl.  A church guy would be against me and not for me.

Now that I’m a 31-year-old single mother to my 15-year-old daughter, I can describe myself as a former serial monogamist. I think Erykah Badu may have described me best as a “recovering undercover over-lover”. I have had my share of worldly men and I can honestly say there are times when I say, “I could have been in Married Couples for Jesus!”. Married Couples for Jesus was a group at my church.  I feel like the name is self-explanatory. It was an auxiliary for married couples. They would go out on group dates and even renew their vows as a group at times. It was basically activities for married couples because going to secular music concerts, the movies or night clubs was well frowned upon.

As a teenager, I was concerned about having a husband who would prohibit me from going to a Prince concert. I didn’t realize that my upbringing was shaping my expectations of my future partner. I grew up seeing men date women.  Single men took women on dates.  Married men took women on dates. It’s just what you did. They treated women well. Anything less would just be downright foolish. I witnessed men court women because they wanted to get married (ok this is a group of people abstaining from sex until marriage, or who at least want to give off the appearance of waiting).

I grew up in an environment where your partner was a reflection of you. If a man wasn’t taking good care of his wife it was a bad reflection on him. A man and his wife were one in the same so if his wife showed up to church looking bad he looked bad. It was a different sense of responsibility for men and women within their relationship.  It was more than just keeping up with appearances,  your spouse was a part of you.

With that being said, I haven’t been on many dates lately. To date a man with no concept of this environment is hard. I have a completely different view on how men should treat women. Some of the men who I have been in relationships with felt I had high, unattainable standards. Outside of church, there is the concept of a couple being two independent entities. You bring what you bring and I bring what I bring and we pick and chose what we share.

In today’s world, a woman must prove herself worthy of being married. It’s almost as if you have to be a man’s wife for a long time before he even considers marrying you.  Where in church it went without saying that the woman was good. Church men proved themselves worthy and stable enough to afford a wife. Lots of couples are happy to be together for long periods of time without being married, which is fine. I just know a lot of women who feel like they have to prove themselves worthy and get disappointed when the relationship doesn’t end in marriage. Which leads to this idea that every relationship that doesn’t lead to marriage is a failure. I don’t think that’s true.  I think failure is when a woman fails to acknowledge that she is single and refuses to audition for the part of the wife because it’s not a requirement.

In no way do I think “church couples” are perfect. No, I identified the cons of being a church couple before I saw the pros, not to mention you could be courted and well kept only to realize that you got married just to have socially acceptable sex and be divorced before your twenty-fifth birthday.

There is no safety zone for women who wish to be married. No magic formula or perfect audience to present yourself to. Married Couples for Jesus is just a moment of clarity that made me realize why I have different expectations than some of the men who I have dated. Being a badass at church camp made me feel like such a rebel but maybe I just had more questions than all of the other teenagers. My set of values isn’t as far from those in Married Couples for Jesus as I initially thought. (My 15-year-old self just screamed at that sentence!)

My fascination with the world was only met by the reality that there are pros and cons to every dating scenario. I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, so no regrets. Maybe there is some guy out there who felt like a badass rebel at church camp too and has realized worldly women aren’t all they’re cracked up to be either. Maybe he’ll court me at the exact moment that he should in exactly the way he should. I won’t have high expectations at that point it will be shared values and not totally unrealistic. Although he won’t be able to take me to a Prince concert maybe we can go to The Roots Picnic and then go to church on Sunday. Clearly, I like churchmen more than I thought.

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

 

A Seat At The Desirable Table

 

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This Seat is Taken

Have a seat. I saved a seat at the desirable woman table just for you. I believe there is a common misconception in the mindset of women that you have to earn desirability. That you have to be a certain size, have the right shape and anything deemed normal or average is not worthy of being celebrated. I feel like I am in good company when I say that I am an everyday woman. I don’t think anything separates me from any other woman because we are more alike than we are different. The more I write about body positivity and body acceptance I am learning that you can accept your body without celebrating it.

When my good friend Amanda, owner of Dayton Boudoir, said that she was interested in shooting some boudoir looks with a curvier client I jumped at the opportunity. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to show and prove that desirability is a state of mind and not a state of being  Taking time out of your busy schedule to get back in touch with what makes you feel attractive can be deemed frivolous but many of us feel a sense of loss when we can’t care for ourselves.

Self Care

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The best part about working with Dayton Boudoir is that Amanda is not just there to take a picture. She is concerned with your entire experience and it creates a pampering spa-like feeling with professional makeup and hair styling included with your session.Before our session, Amanda asked me about what looks I wanted to create and we collaborated on a Pinterest board to share ideas on looks for my shoot. She even sent me a survey to get a feel of what I would feel comfortable with on the day of the session. Anyone can take a picture but Amanda consults with you to ensure she captures women of various shapes and sizes at their best.

View More: http://amandabarbosa.pass.us/laura

 

Grading On A Curve | How To Select The Best Lingerie

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The first thing you want to do is consider what are your favorite features of your body. This is not a time to be vigilant, worried and mean to yourself. Get in a positive thinking space and think about what features you love to showcase when you go out. Once you know what you want to highlight you can then begin to consider pieces.(find my red bra and panty set here)

If you like your legs

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If you’ve got legs for days the best way to play them up is with great shoes. A great pair of heels makes your legs look even longer and if the shoe has playful elements like lace up straps or intricate details around your ankle it will draw even more attention to your legs. Be sure to pick shorter pieces.  You can wear a great bra and panty set under a men’s button down shirt that is long enough to cover your bottom and hits you mid thigh in the front. You can also belt the shirt to create a waist. Just be sure the shirt is free of wrinkles and is a little over-sized.

If you like your decolletage (cleavage)

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Take the time to get fitted to make sure you’re purchasing the right size bra. A great fitting bra is a foundation to showcasing your beautiful decolletage. I found bras with super sexy details at Torrid. Another trick is if you find a super sexy bralette that doesn’t have an underwire wear your strapless bra underneath for additional support.  If you’ve found a sexy teddy and you feel comfortable with going braless purchase some pasties the same color as your lingerie or flesh tone pasties if you can find them. I found great pasties on Amazon.

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So this isn’t my favorite feature on my body but if you have sexy hips showcase them with figure-hugging corsets. Be sure to update your underwear drawer with panties with strappy details.Bring some longer length necklaces and wear them backward and let the necklace dangle down your back to draw the eye down.

If you’re concerned about your midsection (aka your tummy)

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Amanda with Dayton Boudoir is a pro with posing for photos to get your best angle. If you’re concerned about styling options and your tummy no worries.  Robes and jackets are your friend. Don’t be afraid to think out of the box.  A light longline duster or your favorite leather jacket can work styling wonders. In the picture above it looks like I’m wearing a robe but it’s actually a kimono I found at H&M (see Forever 21+ Kimono here).

Don’t categorize yourself as unworthy or undesirable because you’re not your goal weight or you think you don’t meet social body standards. Desire is a “wanting” or mystery. The mystery is not about traveling to new places or being something that you are not, but looking with new eyes. Amanda with Dayton Boudoir has the artistic eye that will capture you at your most desirable.  If you got engaged over the holidays a boudoir session would be a wonderful groom’s gift on the night of your wedding. I think this form of art is for all women and not just for the romantically attached. When I showed my mom my pictures she said that she wished she had done this in her thirties. When I’m 80 I will be able to look back at myself and say with certainty that, “I had it going on!”

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Be sure to book your session now with Dayton Boudoir (937) 938-8923 or on Facebook

$325 Valentine’s Day Special

* 1 hour photoshoot with professional hair & makeup

* 2 outfits & just sheets look

* LIttle Black Book with up to 15 images

* digital version of album images with reproduction release

* Custom Valentine for your someone special * payment plans & gift certificates available

 

I know glamorous self-care can seem frivolous or even like something you don’t have time to invest in. In a society that is constantly making women feel like they don’t measure up and that they have to supersede an unrealistic beauty standard, boudoir cuts through the noise. You’ll see yourself in your best light and desirable. This will create a ripple effect into knowing your beauty has a place in this world.

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If You Don’t Know By Now | Seriously Single

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I just don’t know how many more times I  can scroll past a man posing the question, Who pays for the first date? I want to scream every time I see it. It’s so redundant.  How old are we? That is why I have decided to remove myself from the conversation. I refuse to involve myself in the dating ping pong that is discussing dating etiquette with single men on social media. It feels like a ploy of some greater scheme to invite me to a day party. I have already decided my standpoint on common dating dilemmas. It is said, that there are no stupid questions and most times I would be inclined to agree, but there are exceptions to every rule.

We Talking About Practice?

At a certain point, your values aren’t talking points anymore.  They just are what they are. Sometimes relationship questions feel like a setup. If you see me on any social media platform weighing in any of the questions please call me out on it because this is that last time I will be sharing my opinion on these four questions.

Q. Who pays for the first date?

A. Whoever!

This is dictated on a case by case basis. I think it would be uncouth to invite someone out and then expect the other person to pay for it. For the record, I think that would be rude under any circumstances. Have I invited someone that I was interested in out and paid? Well, of course.  I was interested. I asked. I picked the place and I paid. Big deal. What I don’t like is men who are keeping this secret tally of how many times they have paid for a date and expect you to pay after so many dates.  It’s like they have a secret number they never tell you about. Word to the wise, for some guys it’s 3 dates. So if you’ve ever dated a guy and everything was going well and he didn’t call after the third date now you know why.

In my experience when a man is truly interested in spending time with you, he’s not keeping score. I could be wrong. I am single, but I don’t think that I am.  When I ask my male friends, “how did you know she was the one”, the answer is never, ” I knew she was the one after our third date because she paid.”

Q. Who’s plate do you make first, the kids, or your man?

A. (answered in the form of a question) Can you even make a sandwich?

As a single mother, this question pisses me off. The question only makes me want to pose more questions. Do I know you? How long have we been dating? Why did I introduce you to my child? Why am I cooking for you in my kitchen? Why we at my house? Do you know how expensive food is?  Second of all can, you cook? Final answer, whoever is in closest proximity to this hypothetical plate.

I grew up in a house where both my parents could cook and sometimes we all made our own plates. The concept of a man not being able to provide himself with basic nourishment is undesirable, to say the least.   I truly hate this question because it feels like some misogynistic egotistical mind trick to treat men as some kind of demigod. Dear Hercules, learn to cook and then we’ll talk about who’s getting their plate first.

Q. Why Are You Still Single?

A. Because I’m going through a selfish phase

I highly recommend all women go through a selfish phase. It’s the best way to find out what it is you actually need and want in a relationship. Being selfless to the overall goal of staying in a relationship always landed me in a place I didn’t want to be, unhappy. Most of all I was unhappy with myself for compromising when I really wanted to break up. I look at pictures of me and old boyfriends and think “just break up already!”

I’m single because I am not afraid of myself. I enjoy spending time with myself and getting to know me on a deeper level. It’s just easier to concentrate and listen to myself when I’m not committing myself to a relationship that doesn’t serve me. Besides I plan on dating the hell out of everyone before I relinquish my singlehood to be exclusive. I am going to build great friendships with the opposite sex and just not take the whole thing so seriously. I think the next time I get asked why I’m still single I am going to ask, “Why are you still in a relationship?”  and see how it makes the other person feel.

Q. Do you live alone?

A. No, I don’t.

I remember the first time I asked an adult, what and why is feminism important? Ironically I asked my Uncle Quenton who answered the question with the perfect clarity of my eight-year-old mind he said, “As a man.  I can admit that there are certain places I wouldn’t go at three o’clock in the morning if I had a vagina.”  He said the fact that he knew that facet of life was true didn’t make it fair. That was the end of our feminism lesson.  With all that said, if I did live alone, why would I tell a stranger?

I don’t live alone I live with my family and that is what works for me at this point in my life. I don’t feel bad about my unique living situation. I don’t plan on shaming any potential suitor for his either. I’m relatively fair. On the real, I often love saying that I don’t live alone because it’s usually code for can I come home with you and the answer to that is “No”. Who thought there would be stranger danger this late in the game?

 

What question can you not be asked again? Let me know in the comments below. This post is a part of my Seriously Single series. If you missed my last post, I Don’t Like Good Morning Texts, be sure to check it out!

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!

 

I Don’t Like Good Morning Texts | Seriously Single

I feel like the title of my post is going to eliminate all chances of a guy texting me ever again. I’m ok with that.  It just means they didn’t read the entire blog post and I’m only interested in guys who like to scratch beyond the surface anyway. I don’t like good morning texts.  Let me be more clear, I really hate texts that only say GM. It makes me feel like I am on some guys distribution list of women that he sends salutations to in order maintain a certain level of communication, especially if we haven’t established a connection at all.

A good morning text from a guy that you have been dying to talk to is welcomed. I mean you have been anxiously awaiting communication from him, hell you’ve even had enough time to develop a crush. Under those circumstances, you may have even had a few brief encounters where you exchanged a word or two. A good morning text that derives from this situation is not what I am talking about.

Gather ‘Round I Gotta Story to Tell

By mere happenstance,  I followed some advice my best friend gave me. Which was to go where men go because the places that I like to frequent aren’t places where single men will be. My daughter’s best friend was having a birthday party at TGI Friday’s. All of the teenager’s at the party sat together and I figured it wouldn’t be cool for a mom to hang around so I decided to have a drink to soothe the uber hyper teenager I was about to have in an hours time.

I put in my order at the bar, ate, and drank by myself watching Zorn, being surprisingly entertained when I realized there were a lot of men at this bar eating alone. Most of them were watching a sporting event but alone none the less. I’m no stranger to eating alone but I’m not big on TGI Friday’s so this isn’t something that I would normally do. Just as soon as I realized that there may be hidden opportunities in mediocre dining experiences, I made eye contact with a man from across the bar and he smiled at me and I smiled back ( I mean it’s what you do when you realize you’ve made eye contact with a stranger). I immediately returned my attention to my drink then noticed he was headed straight for me.

I decided to be nice. I mean, I am writing a series about being single so I figured this would be good journalistic research. He approached me and said “I see you here all the time. ” I said, “No you don’t. I don’t come here often.” He laughs a little and then asks for my phone number. I obliged him and then he proceeded to ask me if I am single, well actually he didn’t ask am I single, he asked, “Ain’t nobody gonna be jumping out of the bushes on me, will they?” I let him know that I’m single. He said that he had just gotten off work and was having a drink and that he was interested. I laughed because, well his inflection was funny and a little forward, but I was willing to let it slide.  He said that he would text me and I said I honestly don’t text a lot but I’ll try to respond since I know you’ll be sending me a message.  We said a few more things and that was that.

The next morning I get a text from him, “Hey, did you at least lock me in?” I replied back to him and let him know that I had and that it was nice to hear from him and asked how he was. His reply, “I’m doing good BEAUTIFUL. How are you?” I said “I’m well.” His next text said “I are so BEAUTIFUL”. Although slightly redundant I thought it was a funny typo, I replied back, “Well it’s good you have high self esteem that’s a major key.” He didn’t text back for a while. I thought maybe my joke wasn’t well received. Eventually, he hit me back and let me know it was a typo.

The week went on and every morning a good morning text and every evening a good night text. Yet anytime I tried to stretch a conversation with him beyond salutations and compliments it fell on deaf ears and he returned back to his distribution list responses. I mean it was like trying to have a conversation with Tickle Me Elmo. This guy just could not get beyond his script and the funniest part was, he thought this was effective communication.

Hey, I’m no angel. I was picking up on what his was putting down. He was being robotic with the hopes of creating a generic enough level of communication to become at most a booty call. Every guy doesn’t have to be the one.  I was willing to entertain this guy or at the very least give him enough rope to hang himself so I played along. At this point, we’ve been texting for about two weeks. I’m not good at generic.  He would have been better off just asking for what he wanted. I might have said yes if I was feeling curious and generous. We graduate to phone calls  and he starts asking when will he see me again and I let him know that I was pretty swamped with work but I would be free in about a week. Finally after a week of trying to find the time to hang out I give this brother a day and a time. He gleefully agreed and seemed excited… as excited as you can be over Facebook Messenger.

The day comes and I confirmed, “Hey we are still on?” He replies, “yes we are still on”. With no more excited emojis, capital letters or exclamation points. I pretty much knew he was going to be a first hired, first fired situation and he would be terminated for a no call/no show. Just as I suspected I called maybe about an hour before to see where he wanted to meet and no answer. It was cool. It wasn’t like I was dressed or even prepared to leave my house in any way. I actually experienced a little relief.  I can’t image how bad his robotic game would have gotten over drinks.

Moral of the Story….I Still Don’t Like GM Texts

This guy didn’t know me. A hello at the bar isn’t enough for presumptuous greetings and persistent requests for meetings. If he couldn’t spark a witty conversation via text, Facebook Messenger or on the phone, this was headed nowhere anyway. This guy’s plot and character backstory were more predictable than Sanna Lathan in The Perfect Guy. It wasn’t the actual well wish of me to have a good morning it was the transparency of his end game. Oh, he did follow up with me the next day to tell me his mother was in the hospital. I just laughed and unfriended him on Facebook.  Maybe his mother was hospitalized I’m not sticking around to find out one way or the other.This guy probably has a girlfriend.

This is my second post for my series Seriously Single series. If you missed my first post in this series, be sure to check out Netflix is My Boyfriend. Expect to hear more about my adventures of being smart, busy and single. How’s your love life? Are you dating? Let me know in the comments below because I could use some dating inspiration.

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!