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Is “Confident” the New Codeword For Fat?

Is "Confidence" the New Codeword for Fat?

I’m not sure if I’m paranoid or if I have yet to master the art of accepting a compliment. I have this sneaking suspicion that confidence is a code. A disguise lingering in the comments section lurking under “WERK” and the handclap emojis praising your latest Fashion Nova Curve purchase. Up until recently, I was willing to dismiss comments like “I wish I had that kind of confidence”, as innocent, but not all praises of confidence are created equal.

 

I stumbled across a video of The Alabama Honey Beez drill team that my friend shared on social media.  Her caption read “These girls are getting it!” It immediately made me stop and watch it. I was filled with excitement and envy because I wish so badly that had some rhythm. When I noticed the caption from the original source of the shared video it read “I wish I was this confident.”

 

I didn’t want to take a defensive stance but there lies a certain level of truth in any initial reaction. It made me ask myself “What is so confident about a dance team?”  Who would voluntarily try out to be on a dance team if they couldn’t, well, dance? Is ability, skill and practice confidence or talent? The vibe that I caught from the caption that offered a proclamation of confidence was shady!

Shady in the sense that someone would make the assumption that big girls can’t dance. As if, they were saying if I was that big I wouldn’t be dancing let alone be on a dance team. Like this group of talented women need some proverbial confidence cookie. This video is not the only time I see confidence being used as code for “Oh look at you. You’re fat but look at you trying”. I always want to reply to “confident” comments with “take your confidence and….” (you know the rest)

Target Who, What, Wear Wrap Top

People are quick to say things like “I admire your confidence” after you post a picture of yourself on vacation in a bathing suit. What’s so confident about swimming on vacation? Please tell me. I think a lot of this confidence is people just doing what they genuinely want to do and it doesn’t make them any more confident than the next person. Fulfilling a desire to do anything isn’t confidence. Confidence is firm trust and you don’t have to trust anything to do what you want to do. I often want french fries from Mc Donald’s. I don’t trust Mc Donald’s I just like french fries regardless of the lingering consequences.

As a blogger, I experience blatant misuse of the word confidence all the time. People admire my confidence to have style or wear a bodycon dress. I know some people genuinely do lack confidence for their own personal reasons but when people say I admire your confidence to my face with a twisted mouth and tone riddled with pity, I know what they mean. I’ll pass on their confidence cookies. I’d rather eat Mc Donald’s, it’s less toxic.

body positive blogger

Like I said, this could all be just my imagination running away with me, but I don’t think it is. Your mother told you if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all. Most people translate that into if you don’t have anything nice to say find a way to rephrase it so you can still say something mean. If you have experienced the tail end of unwarranted “confidence” just remember your living your best life. Well if your best life is eating secret fries maybe not but at least you’re doing what you want to do!

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Something for EVERY Body 16 Fashion Bloggers You Should Follow

As an avid body advocate of body positive media I read my fair share of blogs. As a style expert when I see something stylish my eye just gravitates toward what I find appealing. I love when the two worlds collide on my Instagram account. When I like something I like it whether the woman wearing it is a size 2 or a size 26. I honestly don’t care style and construction are on an even playing field in my world.

I wanted to showcase women of all body types who are incredibly stylish. I am sharing all of my favorite bloggers who give me total and complete closet envy. If you haven’t heard of them you should follow them today because who couldn’t use a little outfit inspiration!

Grown and Curvy Woman

I feel like no one executes quirky curvy girl business professional better than Grown and Curvy Woman. I love her colorful style and how she finds new ways to reinvent her wardrobe all the time. She also did a series on her blog where she recreated looks from her favorite straight size bloggers and the results were fantastic. I love her versatility if you are looking for fun ways to update your office style be sure to follow her @grownandcurvywoman on Instagram.

Style Cassentials

They say big things come in small packages and Casse of Style Cassnetials slays in every way! Just when I felt like there was no one out there addressing the issues that petite plus size women deal with, I discovered Casse. She has written awesome posts about altering garments to better fit the smaller curvy frames of the plus and petite. Her sleek and sexy style will have you filling your online shopping cart full of style goodness. Be sure to follow @stylecassentials

 

Miss Louie

In real life, if I could I would wear everything Miss Louie puts on. If I am styling myself for an event I get on YouTube and watch Miss Louie. Her style is impeccable and it’s the perfect blend of classic J Crew prep and Target flare. Miss Louie shops both ends of the spectrum and it all seamlessly blends and the end result look super polished! Miss Louie is the total package and also goes into detail about her pairings of wardrobe and accessories. I’m sure you will find her style just as intriguing as I do be sure to follow her on Instagram @missejlouie and subscribe to her YouTube channel.

 

The Instagram Wives

These three New York working girls give an ultra chic plus sized Sex in the City vibe that an Ohio girl can only dream of!!  Suits, Heels and Curves, LA PECOSA PRECIOSA and Style Over Size all have different styles but the diversity in their taste provides a cohesive kinship that exudes fun and confidence. They are always on the scene and share insider details from retailers when new lines are being released. If you are interested in knowing when plus brands are extending sizes or just want a peek at next seasons lookbook before you receive the promotion in the mail these are your girls  Be sure to follow them on Instagram @theigwives

 

Skinny Girl Confidence

As the shortest person in my family, there is nothing I appreciate more than a tall drink of water! So often I see tall women not embrace all that is being a total glamazon. Skinny Girl Confidence shows off her cool street wear and her long, long, legs. She is seriously model material be sure to check her out on Instagram @skinneegirlconfidence.blog

The Inbetweenie

As a woman who sits on the edge of straight and plus size clothing, I can totally indulge in the quirky styles of The Inbetweenie. Her style can range from easy going casual wear to fun iridescent rain coats, the sky is the limit. I adore the fun styles that always translate into cool, fun, and  animated pieces. Be sure to catch her on Instagram @theinbetweenie

 

Jessica Kane

Jessica Kane‘s style personifies crazy, sexy, cool. I love how she is always able to create great silhouettes. She always ties in fun colors and textures into her look and it never seems over the top, she makes it look so effortless. She also designs for the line Society Plus which is, oh so cute!! Be sure to Jessica on Instagram @jessica_kane

FeednClotheMe

Feednclotheme is my blogger boo and she kills it every time. She is the ultimate southern belle with her long flowing frocks. She is always sporting bright colors and easy to pair separates. Feednclothe me is a woman after my own heart because nothing beats a cute outfit or a gourmet plate! Be sure to follow @feednclotheme on Instagram

Simply Curvy

Ashley of Simply Curvy is all about the fit if a new plus size line is available at a well-known retailer  I know Ashley has made a purchase. I can always be certain that she will give her honest experience with the brand. She is always rocking what’s new and putting her own fun twist on it. Be sure to check out @simplycurvee on Instagram

Thread Cincinnati

Hey, don’t get it twisted Ohio girls have style too! I love the style of all of the ladies of Thread so I couldn’t just pick one. Everyone has their own unique style and it’s featured weekly on threadcincinnati.com. You can see the confidence in everyone’s style. It may seem a little bias since I  am a member of Thread but I find myself recreating the looks that I see on the other ladies all of the time. If you want to know the best places to shop in Cincinnati look no further. Be sure to check out all of the ladies of Thread on Instagram @threadcincinnati

Finesse Curves

Jeanne of Finesse Curves represents curvy girl style at it’s finest! Not only is Jeanne my blogger boo but she’s also my fellow Midwest fashionista. She is always changing up her look and her hair so I am constantly inspired by her style and her confidence to always take a fashion risk and rock it her own way. Be sure to check her out Instagram @finessecurves314

Personal Bravery

Can you lose with a blog named Personal Bravery? It’s more than style it’s the courage to be yourself, now that’s deep. Princess is a stylist and blogger with an awesome knack for layering clothes to perfection. She styles looks in  a way that I would have never considered and it always looks high end. Be sure to check out real Cincinnati style @PersonalBravery.

This Is Jessica Torres

This woman is hot, was the first thing I thought when I saw Jessica Torres. If you have been looking for the confirmation to leave the house in that sexy little number Jessica will inspire you to have the confidence and style to do it. I mean she’s unapologetic and I am constantly trying to infuse aspects of her style into my wardrobe and her no f*cks given approach to fashion is something any woman can appreciate. Be sure to follow @thisisjessicatorres.

Klassy Kinks

My current hair goals obsession is Klassy Kinks. I recently started on my natural hair journey and I am constantly watching Klassy Kinks on Youtube for hairspiration. She also has a style all her own on Instagram. I love seeing her vibrant colors in my feed. Be sure to follow @KlassyKinks on Instagram.

Curlybyrdie Chirps

Whoever said 40 isn’t fabulous lied. Mary of Curlybyrdie Chirps always puts a sexy and stylish spin on looks that transition into my real life wardrobe. She is always proving that age ain’t nothing but a number. Be sure to follow @curlybyridie on Instagram.

FabEllis

Fabulous she is I can’t get enough of her mixture of street style and high end looks when I see FabEllis in my Instagram feed! She is always rocking a bold print. I just love how she mix and matches items so effortlessly be sure to follow her on Instagram @FabEllis

 

Are you caught up in the scroll too? Who is your Instagram or social media style crush?

For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button.  You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter@ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!