I am Not a Milkshake. I am a Malt!


If you don’t feel like explaining your current state of grown ass woman you can always let your t-shirt do the talking. Earlier this week (here) I talked all about how I discovered that t-shirts are a form of self-expression. My “Malt” tee (I am wearing the 2X and it goes up to 4X find it here and here) is expressing acceptance of my mind and my body because not only is my body thick but so is my womanhood. Get your life!!

Does anyone make room for grown women anymore?

In a society that is always encouraging women to remain young with anti-aging creams and rejuvenation treatments, it goes unnoticed that a good percentage of reality stars are in their 40’s and on televisions show where they behave like 20-year-old college students with larger bank accounts. (I’m not judging I watch it all) This is a real question.  Who is celebrating real women, real growth, and maturity?

I don’t bring boys to the yard because I’m not a milkshake.

I’m a malt, extra thick

I’m everything that you want but you ain’t ready for it

It’s one thing to tote around a trophy it’s another thing to win the prize

I ain’t nobody’s girlfriend

I’m a lifestyle

Laura Wize 2017©

You Know What That Is? Growth…

Change is imminent and so is growth. I refuse to spend my life trying to remain everything that I was at twenty. Mostly because my twenties sucked. Here is what no one tells you as a child who yearns to be grown, growth is hard. Learning who you are, what you want, and how to get to where you want to be is a never-ending journey. At twenty you’re at the bottom of the hill. I can’t force my mind, spirit, or body to be twenty my whole life. I won’t force immaturity on myself for anyone not even for the attention of my potential mate. Why is immaturity associated as being fun and lively?


So don’t complain about the restaurants I like or the shoes I buy

It cost money

It cost money because it saves money

I paid the cost to be the boss and that’s more than just material things.

I ain’t gotta go out of my way to prove that I’m a good woman

It goes without saying that I’m exceptional

Laura Wize 2017 ©

I feel like in your youth you chase all of the milestones that go along with adulthood but forget that you have to be ready. You need to be mentally, spiritually, and financially equipped to be someones’ life partner, someone’s mother, or even to be CEO. Why would you ever want to hold on to the of state of ignorance that you are in when your just beginning on your journey. Growing into yourself is beautiful and should be celebrated. You don’t have to get married or have a baby to celebrate yourself, growth is a milestone. (Have a freaking party!)

And if you’re not strong enough to suck this malt through the straw

You can quickly and politely get gone

Cause I know what I got

You see a young milkshake may have not found her identity yet

It’s easier to compromise yourself when you want the title more than you want the position

Laura WIze 2017©

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESWhen people fail to understand you and your pursuit to self-acceptance, as a mature grown ass woman, just know everyone moves at a different pace.  Anyone who gets to this point of self-acceptance knows that the uphill battle is worth it. I’m at a place in my life where I accept my mind, my body, and I am still learning. I will claim all my lessons, trials, and tribulations because they have thickened my plot. So, no, I am not a milkshake, I don’t bring boys to the yard besides I want a grown man anyway!

The truth is self evident and prevalent

Don’t reflect your expectations on to me

If you don’t have the upper respiratory capacity

To pull this malt up to your lips

You ain’t ready

I’m not a milkshake

I don’t bring boys to the yard

I’m a grown ass woman

My power garners the attention of grown ass men

Sip on that

Laura Wize ©

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