Doesn’t that sound selfish, buying yourself a gift for Christmas. Why would I suggest selfishness during the season of giving? The true spirit of Christmas isn’t about getting what you want. I just feel like women train themselves to accept less all the time. Since everything is on sale at Christmas and it’s my personal belief that you should gift yourself what you really, really want.
Over the years, I have graciously accepted and smiled through some of the worst gifts ever. The worst gift I ever got was my step -grandmother. She gave meThe Bible on tape and at 13 I just couldn’t see the deeper meaning.
I have come to accept that “good gift giving” is an art not mastered by all. Getting a bad gift can be hard to swallow when the giver is someone who is supposed to know you best. Receiving and giving gifts is almost an unspoken communication.
I had an ah-ha moment in Costco. I was doing some necessary shopping with my sister when I spotted a sewing machine that I wanted. In the most dramatic fashion, I ran to the sewing machine like a long-lost lover and cradled it. I yelled to my sister “Tell my boyfriend I want a sewing machine for Christmas!” Without breaking stride. my sister walked past me and said. “You don’t have a boyfriend.” I know that!
I realized two things: 1) If my main desire for a boyfriend stemmed from the desire to get a Christmas present I clearly don’t want one. 2) Why do I need to be in a relationship to get what I want for Christmas?
Receiving gifts is a love language. In the book
The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman writes:
A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say “Look, he was thinking of me,” or, “She remembered me.” You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought.
If the act of receiving the perfect gift symbolizes love in my mind, then that explains why I felt like I needed to receive it as gift from the boyfriend in my head. If you can’t expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself, maybe the same thing applies to gifts.
It only took one Black Friday email to sway me towards the act of self- gifting. A necklace that I wanted last Christmas was going to be on sale. I had considered buying it throughout the year, and I had just talked myself out of it. In the spirit of sale I bought more than what I came for and was anxiously awaiting my packages. Picture c/o Mrkate.com
When I unwrapped my gifts they meant a little more to me than I was expecting. To be honest, I did want this necklace and last Christmas I wanted it to be a gift, but it meant more because I got it for myself. Both of the necklaces that I bought were beautiful, but I bought one necklace because it had a unicorn horn pendant on the chain.
I hold special place in my heart for unicorns because they’re magical and majestic and last Christmas I didn’t feel like I possessed either quality. I felt like I was bottling up a lot of my optimistic magical happy dust just to make other people feel comfortable. I guess, I proved my theory right. I felt thought of and cared for through the act of receiving a gift from myself. My self-giving wasn’t just another mindless purchase.
You can consider my act of self-giving as self-centered but maybe your love language is different from mine. That’s OK, and we don’t all feel love and appreciation for the same acts. Don’t take this theory as an excuse to be totally selfish. It’s still the season of giving. However, if one of the gifts under the tree is from you and to you, I’m totally down with you going for it!
Stay tuned all this week for Blogmas!!! I will be posting special videos on my Facebook page as well as posting here on the blog all the way through New Years!!! For more Oh Wize One be sure to subscribe by clicking the follow button. You can also follow me on Facebook OhWize One, Instagram@ohwizeone, twitter @ohwize1. Remember to share the wisdom with friends!!